"X-Men" Films

Whether you like them or not, it's been proven time and again that the X-Men film franchise is here to stay. Each of the ten films (really? Ten?) were financial juggernauts (pun intended!) and raked in millions upon millions of dollars. While critics are divided on these movies - some love 'em, some hate 'em, others don't seem to care either way - it's undeniably an entertaining series. The franchise attempts to blend action, sci-fi, drama, humor, and romance. Sometimes it succeeds. Sometimes it doesn't. Regardless, I'm presenting you with my own thoughts about the series. As I used to do long ago, I'm awarding each film a letter grade to sum up my opinion. Enjoy!

X-Men (2000): How much fun is this movie? The casting is pitch perfect, resulting in some of the genre's best characters. Who doesn't love Hugh Jackman as the grizzled, world-weary Wolverine? Who didn't think Patrick Stewart was incredible as Professor X, or that Ian McKellen made Magneto one of cinema's best villains? The plot is forgettable, but whatever. Director Bryan Singer wanted to make a splash, and he sure did. The visuals are awesome (Rogue sucking the life out of her boyfriend, Logan's claws inching out of his fists, the fight atop the Statue of Liberty), the action is top notch, and it's all put together with finesse and fluidity. This movie didn't just give birth to a franchise - it gave birth to a genre. Superhero movies were a punchline, an afterthought. Thank Batman & Robin for that mindset. But thanks to this movie, they were given a second chance. This film isn't high art, but it's certainly great entertainment. Final Grade: B+ 

X2: X-Men United (2003): This is the movie we all were waiting for. Although the first X-Men film is great, this one is better. I mean way better. Terrible title notwithstanding, this is simply one of the best superhero movies of all time. Again, director Bryan Singer hits all his marks - the visuals are sensational (the opening assault on the White House is unforgettable), the characters are realistic, and the stakes are high. Unlike its predecessor, the plot is worthy of the characters, with some fascinating development for fan favorites Wolverine, Storm, and Jean Grey. William Stryker is a terrific villain, the perfect foil for mutants of all abilities and ideologies. Everything here is in perfect balance, with each scene bumping with a natural rhythm that is fresh and captivating. The allegorical inclinations are annoyingly overt, but who cares? This isn't Citizen Kane, this is pop cinema. And it's damn good pop cinema, too. It makes you hold your breath, it makes you shout at the screen, it makes you tear up. This is one of the best films of the last decade, and belongs up there with Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy and Unbreakable as a superhero masterpiece. Final Grade: A+ 

X-Men: The Last Stand (2006): Following X2 was bound to be tough, but the world was predestined to hate this threequel from the start. Bryan Singer bowed out of production in order to direct the lukewarm Superman Returns, and was replaced by Brett Ratner, who might just be the Hollywood's biggest tool. After the movie premiered, the complaints started pouring in. Why was the Dark Phoenix storyline butchered? What was up with Angel? Why did Beast look so funky? How could they do that to Professor X, to Mystique, to Magneto? Where were the Sentinels? Admittedly, as a teenager who adored the first two X-Men films, I too was unenthused. You know what, though? I watched this thing again a couple weeks ago. Craziest thing of all? Popular opinion be damned, I don't think it's half bad. Yes, the plot is ridiculous, but that really doesn't bother me. I like seeing the characters interact with such high stakes, I like Kitty Pryde phasing through walls, I like Iceman frosting over and blasting away enemies. The pacing may be all wrong, character development may be neglected, some beloved plot points from the comics may be altered, but that doesn't bother me too much. This movie is a step down, but it's not the suicidal plunge that many will have you believe. It's distracting, occasionally interesting, blockbuster cinema. Final Grade: C+ 

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009): Crap. It's come to this? Really? I have to review this abomination? Fine. Let's get it over with. Wolverine is bad. Real bad. Like, it's one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Seriously. You know how there are some flicks that are so bad they're good? Well, this isn't one of them. It just sucks. Big time. The action is absurd, the characterization is nonexistent, it contradicts the films and comics that come before it, the cinematography is a joke, it ruins characters, the special effects are atrocious, the acting is bad, the pacing is lumpy, the art direction is phoned-in, etcetera etcetera etcetera. Believe it or not, though, there are a few things I like: Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool is perfect casting, Liev Schreiber as Sabertooth is a menacing villain (I was actually uncomfortable whenever he was on screen), and I think the opening credits sequence is neat. Other than that, it's a wash. My advice? Skip this entry. It's an unholy film. I'm seriously not doing it justice - there are about a dozen complaints I have swirling in my head right now, but I don't have the motivation or interest to spell them out. The whole thing just feels...wrong, you know? It's nonsensical and stupid. Yuck. I'm glad Wolverine lost his memory - at least he can be spared this cinematic trainwreck. Final Grade: D- 

X-Men: First Class (2011): After the mediocrity of The Last Stand and the lifeless corpse that is Origins, First Class was a breath of fresh air. Deciding to tell the backstory of Professor X and Magneto was a cool idea, and the movie is pulled off with charisma and style. It's a period piece, so all the early 60's costumes and sets are fun to look at. The action is also fun, but it's certainly not the film's best attribute. Again, the icing on the cake is the casting, particularly James McAvoy as a slick Charles Xavier and Michael Fassbender as a cutthroat (but sympathetic) Erik Lensherr. This is an interesting stand alone movie, but attempting to fit it into the pre-established X-Men universe was a mistake (until Days of Future Past, that is, but we'll get to that later). It felt too different, both stylistically and thematically. I just didn't feel like McAvoy would someday be Stewart, that Fassbender would be McKellen. It didn't fit for me. With the foul stench of two loser films still lingering, the world was itching for an acceptable X-Men flick. The result? This movie is overpraised. It's good, sure, but far from great. Some of the dialogue is wonky, some of the special effects are thin, some of the emotional notes off-key. I like it, but definitely don't love it. Final Grade: B-

The Wolverine (2013): 2012 was a crazy summer for superhero movies. The Avengers romped through theaters with swagger and charm, and had audiences laughing and cheering for more. The Dark Knight Rises was a furious thunderstorm, a tumultuous film that had viewers examining their souls. Where else could the genre go? After two slam dunks, what would be left? The answer to those questions was The Wolverine - a quiet, introspective character study. This film is truly fantastic. It's not a movie about action, although there certainly is a lot of it (the bullet train sequence is a breathless revelation). Nope, instead it's a movie of astonishing visual artistry. Sunlight dapples onto placid waters during a nuclear blast, snow drifts over a Japanese village while ninjas run silently in the moonlight, a silver samurai shifts its weight with a glossy heftiness and prepares to do battle. This movie is a living painting, a bustling, violent work of art. Even nicer? It's entertaining. It's not quite as user-friendly as X2, but it gets the job done. Final Grade: A- 

X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014): With the triumphant return of Bryan Singer to the director's chair, we are given another 5-star, thumbs-up, absolutely perfect X-Men film. Days of Future Past is simply incredible. It's a sci-fi stunner, with mutants, time travel, and giant robots to boot. How could you not love that? This movie takes the First Class storyline and manages to weave it into the fabric of the original universe. How? I'm not sure. But it does somehow, so I'm happy. Much like the first two entries in the series, the pacing is swift, the characters are three-dimensional, and the plot is engaging. Best of all are Singer's trademark visual flourishes, like the 35mm stuff that may well have been shot by Zapruder, or (best of all) Quicksilver's lightning-fast antics displayed in slow motion. Watching is like being swept away on a quick current - you're unsure of the ultimate destination, but the scenery is beautiful and the sun feels warm on your skin. My inner sci-fi nerd loves all the post-apocalyptic gloom & doom of the future, and my inner history geek is infatuated with the period piece art direction of the past. The pairing is sublime. This is a great movie, one that is a shoo-in for some technical Oscar wins, and James McAvoy should've at least been nominated for Best Supporting Actor (seriously, the guy steals the show). This is a worthy successor to X2 and gives me nothing but hope for the future of the franchise and the genre. Amazing stuff. Final Grade: A 

Deadpool (2016): Yeah, I know - this one isn't exactly an X-Men movie, seeing as the plot and characters are mostly new and it's tonally way off. But you know what? Deadpool and his pals are mutants, and you even see Xavier's frickin' mansion. So I'm counting this. And it's a good thing I am, because this is a refreshing entry in the overall series. The absurdity of it all - from potty humor to exploding skulls - is a real treat. Ryan Reynolds is back as Deadpool, but this time the character is done right. He breaks the fourth wall and talks to the audience, usually to spit a joke or deliver a snarky one-liner. He spends a whole montage preparing for battle, then forgets all his guns and ammo back at his apartment. He's deformed, he's unhinged, and he's wild. It's great. Admittedly, this ain't a perfect movie. Not all the jokes land, and our hero comes dangerously close to overstaying his welcome before the end. But I like this movie. It's definitely a change of pace, which was desperately needed after all the dense sci-fi nonsense of the previous installment. Final Grade: B+

X-Men: Apocalypse (2016): ...and then there's this one. After four solid movies in a row, the series sours with this overlong, bloated, paint-by-numbers extravaganza. On the surface, Apocalypse does a lot of things right. The First Class cast is back, this time set in the 80's, with Bryan Singer again at the helm and fan favorite characters added to the story. Plus, the villain is legendary comic-book stuff. After seeing this movie last summer, I honestly didn't hate it. It was melodramatic, sure, but wasn't too bad a ride. After all, nothing can ever be as awful as X-Men Origins, right? But where Origins was spectacular in its failings, Apocalypse is a forgettable, deflated superhero movie. It seems like we've seen this a billion times before. It has elements of The Avengers, a sprinkling of crazy disaster tropes straight out of Independence Day, and even borrows heavily from X2. Worst of all? It rehashes a lot of stuff from earlier installments, like the Dark Phoenix saga and a Wolverine origin. Sigh. This is a lukewarm flick. Not quite a mess, but far from fun. It's...I don't know. It just is. Final Grade: D+ 

Logan (2017): I just finished seeing this movie. And, well, I'm not sure how to tackle it. I guess I'll just start by saying this: Logan is fantastic. There. That's really all you need to know. The plot is simple (thank God), which gives the lead actors a lot of room to explore their characters. And boy, do they. Patrick Stewart plays Professor X with such frail, trembling humanity, that every time he was on screen my heart broke a little more. Newcomer Dafne Keen is excellent as Laura - a furious little girl with secrets and surprises all her own. But of course, the heart and soul of the movie is Hugh Jackman, playing Wolverine for the last time. His performance is natural, nuanced, and is a real pleasure to watch. Much like the film, overall. This is bleak stuff - no denying that - but it's heartfelt and expertly executed. For once, the X-Men series aspires to be something more than summer cinema fun. Instead, it aims for art. And you know what? It succeeds. This is a post-modern superhero think-piece - hyperviolent but beautiful, action-packed but sophisticated. It's Unforgiven for a new generation. What a fabulous, furious film. Final Grade: A+