Jupiter and Mars: Musings on "Stadium Arcadium"

Today marks the 10th anniversary of Stadium Arcadium, the 9th studio album released by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. It's my favorite record of all time - beating out the likes of Abbey Road, Kind of Blue, and The College Dropout - and is arguably the best representation of the Chili Peppers' eclectic musical style. It went Double Platinum in the US, birthed 3 consecutive number 1's on Billboard's Alternative Rock chart, and won 5 Grammys, including Best Rock Album. It's a monolithic achievement in modern music, the ultimate rock and roll statement of the new millennium.

...but why?

Well...that's a difficult question with a variety of answers. It's easy to make judgments about music (hell, I made a pretty massive one in my opening paragraph), and it's basically impossible to be unbiased in the process. But I feel I'm (pseudo)qualified to tackle this album. Because it's my all-time favorite? Perhaps. Stadium Arcadium sings in my soul, still as lush and vibrant as ever, a decade after I first heard it. So these are my personal feelings, 10 years later...

I was a high school junior at the time - a pimply, long-haired 16-year-old who never went anywhere without an iPod Shuffle (remember those?) and a Vonnegut paperback. It was a Tuesday, and my pal Brandon and I left campus during lunch to drive to Best Buy. We both needed a copy of the album. Immediately. We were already fans of the Chili Peppers, but the overwhelming radio saturation of the first single, the acid-rock "Dani California," propelled us quicker across town. Speculation dominated the drive over. Would the album rock hard like its single? Or mellow out, like many tracks on its predecessor By the Way? A week or so earlier, the record leaked online, but we refused to investigate. Why ruin the surprise?

Disc 1: Jupiter

And surprised we were. In a really, really good way. The first thing I noticed was that it was a double-album, with its discs being named Jupiter and Mars. How cool is that? But as we started listening on the way back to school, I forgot about the album art and instead got lost in sound. We only had time to get through the first 3 tracks - "Dani California," the power-pop ballad "Snow (Hey Oh)," and my immediate favorite, the freaky-funky "Charlie." After school, I put the CD in my stereo and dug in deeper. That first time through, the standout tunes were obvious: "Hump de Bump" has one of the most inventive drum solos ever recorded on a rock album, "Hey" is a rhythmic ballad with imaginative harmonies, and "Readymade" hits hard with an unexpectedly slick guitar solo.

As time passed, I listened to the album ad nauseam. In the process, I fell in love with the band all over again - with Flea's melodic bass, Smith's in-the-pocket percussion, Kiedis's soaring vocals, and Frusciante's screaming guitar and soothing harmonies. The way these elements weave together, with nuance and musicality and sheer charisma, is astounding. On this album, the band ceases to be 4 well-rehearsed musicians, instead becoming a solitary, enduring entity. When critics talk about "musical chemistry," this is what they mean. For years, I don't think a week went by without re-listening to the whole damn thing. I was, and still am, enraptured.

Disc 2: Mars

A lot of Stadium's success stems from its bold excess. Every melody is multifaceted, every solo is a symphony. And while this seems like too much of a good thing (minimalism is still very much in fashion for many musicians), the album surprisingly fails to collapse under its own weight. The style is so eclectic, the musicianship so impressive, that it never feels overblown. And when it starts inching in that direction? The band strips things down. The first of these breathers is the title track, built around a simple guitar lick that seems to echo forever. "Slow Cheetah" is another great one, particularly notable for a scintillating triangle groove and an ethereal outro. But I think the best chillaxed tune on the record is "Hard to Concentrate," with its primal rhythm and affectionate lyrics. I mean, any song with lyrics like "All I want is for you to be happy, and / Take this moment to make you my family" is surpassing Hallmark-levels of schmaltz, but it's so sincerely delivered that you love it anyway. 

Yet these breather tracks are simply counterweights on an album driven by electric funk and reckless rock. "Torture Me" is frenetic ska-punk, "She's Only 18" has arguably the album's deepest groove and most blistering guitar solo, and the hit single "Tell Me Baby" is a fiery rap-rock anthem. But if I had to narrow it all down to my three favorite songs, which is hard, they'd be: "Animal Bar" (a psychedelic toe-tapper with thunderous percussion and a mesmerizing, echo-chamber chorus), "Wet Sand" (arguably the greatest Chili Peppers' song ever recorded, with captivating lyrics and blazing guitar heroism), and "Death of a Martian" (the album's bittersweet finale, notable for its closing string of surreal spoken-word poetry). 

Thankfully though, Stadium Arcadium is much more than just a collection of great songs. It's a fully formed, wholly realized musical statement. An album, if ever there was one - challenging our ever-shortening musical attention spans, expanding our senses and expectations. For me, what started as the humble soundtrack to my last 2 years of high school has become an ingrained fixture of my life. It's the musical compass by which I still navigate the choppy waters of modern rock. It is easily one of the best albums of the 00s, and probably one of the best of all time. 

It strips my mind, makes me feel better, and sweeps the echoes of yesternight's fallen freckles away.

Weezer's "White Album" - 2 Reviews, 2 Opinions

The White Album by Weezer, released 4/1/2016

We're at it again, folks. Here's my review, immediately followed by B. Gutierrez's. This album's been getting a whole heck of a lot of praise. How do we feel about it? Read our track-by-track analyses to find out!

B. Perry
1.) California Kids: As far as intros go, this one's okay. I like how the beach-soundscape blends with the Pinktertonesque arrangement at the start; but after that, it kinda just feels like filler.
2.) Wind in Our Sail: While the melody for the verses is pretty awkward, the fist-pumping chorus is awesome. Because of that, this tune is anthemic, optimistic, and barrels of brazen fun.
3.) Thank God for Girls: It's unsurprising that this is the album's most successful single - it's catchy, unique, and decidedly un-Weezer. But it has all the subtlety of a sledgehammer, and although I'm tapping my toes, I'm neither musically nor emotionally invested.
4.) (Girl We Got A) Good Thing: This song is rather lovely. It's sunny, has a neat little guitar solo, and the glam-rock bridge comes out of nowhere and hits all the right notes.
5.) Do You Wanna Get High?: I'm less than fond of Rivers' drug ballads, so I don't really dig this one. The slimy groove is much appreciated, but everything else is blah. 
6.) King of the World: Yeah, I'm a big fan of this one. From the humongous guitars to the pounding drums, from the bouncy bass to the adorable lyrics, this tune has it all. 
7.) Summer Elaine and Drunk Dori: Pretty forgettable, but not bad. Although well-executed, it's flavorless and uninspired.
8.) L.A. Girlz: With its drunken shuffle and throwback hook, this is probably the Weezeriest tune on the album. And while it echoes back to great songs like "Dreamin'" and "Holiday," it's nowhere near as engaging.
9.) Jacked Up: I don't know why I like this, but I do. It's groovy, fresh, and flirtatious (and the melancholic chorus, in which Rivers asks repeatedly, "Oh why, why, why do my flowers always die?" is fantastic).
10.) Endless Bummer: I've always been a stickler for a great closer, and usually Weezer delivers. And here? They do just fine. Although not as emotionally resonant as "Butterfly" or "Time Flies," and not as musically fascinating as "The Angel and The One" or "The Futurescope Trilogy," it nonetheless does its job. "Endless Bummer" finishes the album with catchy melancholia, which is a niche Weezer fills nicely.

At the end of this review, I'm finishing up my fifth listen-through of The White Album. And I gotta admit, it ain't bad. But is it good? Objectively, sure. The hooks are nice, the production is adequate, and the California beach-vibe is charming. But after the fading of Weezer's fiery glory days, this feels like a retread. Granted, it's well done, but a retread, nonetheless. Not as interesting as their bad stuff, not as terrific as their good stuff, this falls somewhere in the middle. White is the color of purgatory, which makes sense here. This is the musical equivalent of lukewarm water. So unless you're high and dry, there's a whole world of more appealing alternatives. 

Weezer's Discography (Perry's ranked order): "The Only Order that Makes Sense"
10.) Make Believe 
9.) Weezer (Green Album)
8.) Raditude
7.) Weezer (Red Album)
6.) Weezer (White Album)
5.) Hurley
4.) Maladroit
3.) Everything Will Be Alright in the End
2.) Pinkerton
1.) Weezer (Blue Album)

B. Gutierrez
1.) California Kids: I dig the ambient intro, and the chorus isn’t bad. Overall though, it kind of strikes me as low-energy and just going through the motions. I swear Rivers just sounds straight up bored at points during this song (and whole album).
2.) Wind in Our Sail: I know it’s a firmly rooted in Weezer history, so I guess I can’t really fault them for keeping it up, but I’m pretty over the shoe-horned nerd similes. I appreciated the “exploration” theme of the song, aside from it being beaten over my head again and again for 3 minutes.
3.) Thank God for Girls: I don’t even know where to start with this one. Not one clue. I think if I could pinpoint one thing that has really soured me on Weezer over the years, it’s songs like this that just straight up seem like throwing lyrics at a wall and seeing what sticks. I’d like to think at least there’s a mildly interesting take on gender dynamics here, but then again Rivers might just really love cannoli. I lost my ear for his sincerity years ago.
4.) (Girl We Got A) Good Thing: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ… Well, I like that little solo at least. That’s something. Yeah.
5.) Do You Wanna Get High?: I’m alright with this song. Lyrically, it’s a little bit of a bummer, but allegedly based on real substance abuse, so that’s cool? I respect a little edginess from decidedly over-the-hill, boring Weezer.
6.) King of the World: Alright, I wasn’t prepared to run into this situation, but I legitimately LIKE this song. No ifs, ands or buts about it. I mentioned never being able to pin down the sincerity in River’s writing since about Red album. Since then, I just assume almost every song is either sarcasm, pandering or some combination of the two. Even before I read up on it more, I was shocked with how genuine this one felt. I could actually just relax and connect with this one, instead of questioning the view of what I was listening to. I dig that. I didn’t think it was possible with Weezer these days. On a related note, check this out. Is this not officially the most adorable song ever now?
7.) Summer Elaine and Drunk Dori: I don’t need a 45 year-old married father singing me songs about being insecure with women. I’m pretty positive this was a sticking point for me in one of the last few reviews as well. It hasn’t changed. At least this one seems to be written as more of a retrospective, which I appreciate. Another fun small solo though!
8.) L.A. Girlz: Another pretty average song with an enjoyable solo. It’s a full-blown pattern now. You know what’s dreadful though? That bridge. Bleh.
9.) Jacked Up: The best thing about this song is that I believe I could competently play piano on it. That should probably say everything you need to know about its quality. 
10.) Endless Bummer: That's a damn good title. Aside from that, see "California Kids." Which is fair, because the parallel boringness of the two tracks is another way to tie the whole thing together. Symmetry! Beautiful.

Weezer's Discography (Gutierrez's ranked order): "The Official Definitive Weezer Top 10"
10.) Hurley
9.) Everything Will Be Alright in the End
8.) Make Believe
7.) Weezer (White Album)
6.) Raditude
5.) Weezer (Red Album)
4.) Weezer (Green Album)
3.) Maladroit
2.) Pinkerton
1.) Weezer (Blue Album)