STAR WARS: The Clone Wars - Review

If I'm going to do this right, I have to review all of the Star Wars films, including this animated action flick from 2008. The Clone Wars was released after all of the prequel films, yet takes place between episodes 2 and 3. Weirdly, it was never intended to be a film. These were the first four episodes of an impending television series for The Cartoon Network, and after George Lucas saw some footage, he decided to release them collectively as a theatrical movie. And you can tell. Big time.

But, as always, let's start with what The Clone Wars film does well...

The Good:
- As usual, the art direction is lovely. There are plenty of settings, and all of them ooze with visual appeal. Light filters through dusty war-zones, playing nicely off craggy mountains and deserted cityscapes. It's surprisingly artistic.

Anakin and Ahsoka chattin' it up, yo.

- The voice acting is nicely done. A few actual cast members lend their talents (Anthony Daniels as C-3PO, Sam Jackson as Mace Windu, and the infinitely cool Christopher Lee as Count Dooku), but the others are newcomers. Ashley Eckstein is great as padawan Ahsoka Tano, and James Arnold Taylor is a dead-ringer for Ewan McGregor. Everyone emotes with ease, and although the animation is sub-par, performances still ring with authenticity.
- The idea of doing a film focused on the Clone Wars makes sense. I mean, why not, right? As a kid watching A New Hope for the first time, I remember zoning in on Luke talking to Ben Kenobi about "the clone wars." What were they? Why did they happen? Those few lines of toss-off dialogue intrigued me to no end. But when the prequels were released, I was irritated that we barely saw any Clone War action. So this movie felt like an easy slam dunk. Plus, it's animated. Freshness and originality abound.

The Bad:

The plot is truly terrible. 

- Plot? What plot? It barely exists. Among other things of zero consequence, our fearless heroes have to rescue Jabba the Hutt's son from kidnappers bent on turning the tide of the Clone Wars. Wow. You'd think with the potential of a future Star Wars TV series on the line, the writers would step up their game. But then again, they didn't know this was going to be a movie. It was supposed to just be four episodes of a new show, remember? The narrative is chunky and awkward. You can feel where one episode ends and another begins. It sucks.
- Characterization is thin as cardboard. This film depends on two things in order to succeed: That you've seen other Star Wars films, and that you're going to watch the television series to follow. What nonsense. A movie needs to stand on it's own feet. Always. But here, because everything depends on your prior knowledge and future commitment, the character development is reduced to cliche. What a bummer.

Plastic animation at its "finest."

- The animation blows. Again, this is probably because the animators didn't have a clue that this thing was gonna end up in theaters. For TV, it would've been fine. But on the silver screen, it's laughably outdated. Stack this up next to Finding Nemo or The Incredibles and you'll see. These characters look little better than plastic action figures, with impeccably molded hair and all the subtlety of concrete. Everyone moves like robots, ones with their batteries slowly dying.
- Giving Anakin a padawan really bothers me. I know that lots of people love Ashoka Tano (hell, after watching the entire series, I'm one of them), but I hate what her existence means to the overall Star Wars universe. She's written as a pretty important character, one who impacts our protagonists in lots of different ways. But is she ever mentioned in another film? Is her presence felt beyond the pixelated dimensions of The Clone Wars? Barely. She feels shoehorned in. Regardless of how fleshed out and vital she becomes by the series' end, Ahsoka is a tacked-on heroine. Even worse? Constrained to this movie alone, she comes across as static and unengaging. I'd say this was a wasted opportunity, but it shouldn't have been used in the first place. Even done well, this character doesn't work. Not as part of the big picture. Not one bit.

So, at the end of the day, The Clone Wars is pretty lame. It might not be terrible, but it's bland to the point of invisibility. Truth be told, I'd rather laugh at The Phantom Menace or scream at Attack of the Clones. At least they evoke some emotion. Final Grade: D

(If you want some grand advice, just commit and watch the entire six-season television series, which is pretty good. Even better, though? Watch the hand-drawn microseries Star Wars: Clone Wars from '03-'05. It's spectacular.)